Random "thots"

I just can't help it. I am a little competitive by nature. Not about all things, and I don't absolutely have to win to enjoy a competition, but I am currently getting shellacked here! What is kicking my proverbial behind you may ask?

My wife! She has turned into a blogging machine and I can't keep up. And it's good stuff! If you haven't read Furiously Loved lately because she hadn't written in so long...do yourself a favor and go there next She's been cranking out one profound post after another.

This is all very well, thank you except that I've always been the wordy one in the family - if you know what I mean. I've always had something to say, and sometimes it's been profound or provocative or, at least fun to read. I've sat down in front of the computer many, many times in the last couple of weeks to write and each time, I've gone blank. OY!

OK - enough of that.

I was very moved Sunday by what my friend and Pastor, Tom, shared in his message. He's doing a series on Matthew 5:1-12, commonly called The Beatitudes. You can hear the messages for yourself on our church's website.

This week's message was centered on Matthew 5:8 "God blesses those whose hearts are pure, for they will see God." (NLT)

I was very convicted by a particular statement Tom made...it went something like this, "You want to know how pure your heart is? Then pay attention to where your thoughts go when you are alone and nobody else is around." That's not a direct quote, and may be a paraphrase, but it's what stuck in my head.

Where do my thoughts go when I'm alone? I have to admit that too often my thoughts go...astray. I am reminded again that I need a Savior and grace and mercy! Wow, I try so hard to follow after God with all my heart, mind and strength. I really do...but if I'm brutally honest, I think I would, at best, get a "C to C+" on my "pure heart report card". I can go off on wild tangents that have nothing whatsoever to do with pleasing my God in a nanosecond.

To my credit, I am much better at recognizing these little jaunts into soulishness and distraction and reigning my thoughts back to reality. And really, that's what I cling to. I absolutely know that my God loves me. I am His child, the delight of His eyes. He doesn't expect, nor demand instant perfection. So I take comfort in the knowing that He has, in fact, factored in my stupidity, my wild hair thoughts and even my imperfect attempts to 'take every thought captive.'

It is good to be a child of the most patient, loving, kind, gentle, merciful Father. I can rest in that, even while taming my random "thots" I think. So as I, may I say...we... wrestle with submitting our thought lives to the Spirit, repenting when we need to, building our faith in Him, and being cleansed by the Blood, we can look eagerly forward to seeing God. Not just in the afterlife, but in the here and now. Not just metaphorically, but really, really see God. I long for that experience of seeing my loving God, whether it is in a vision or dream or some other spiritual context. I want to see Him. I want to know Him.

Purify my heart oh, God and renew a right spirit within me!

What if?

I often find myself asking that question about the stuff of life. What if I had been tall - would I have pursued athletics more aggressively? What if I'd taken that turn instead of that turn? Would I have gotten into a wreck? What if I told that person how badly that negative comment really hurt me? Would they be sorry or just say they were sorry?

What if the church could learn to love and appreciate one another's differences instead of obsessing on how to phrase our argument to win the others to our way of thinking? What if the church gave each different movement, denomination, or body the freedom to express their love for Christ in the way that stirred their hearts and be excited for one another's uniqueness?

What if all the world needed really is just love, sweet love? Can we do that church? Can we just allow ourselves to give love, sweet love to a hurting world? What if we could relate to people without judgment, criticism or instruction on the right way to look, feel and move...and just love them with God's sweet love.

And what if, just think about this...what if the hokey pokey really is what it's all about? :)

I'm B-A-C-K

Wow, I had no idea it had been so long since my last post. Sheesh. Sorry faithful readers (all three of you :-]).

A lot has happened since last I posted a post in blog-land. I've turned another year older, started the process of learning to make wine (mentored by my friend and wine maker extraordinaire, John - aka Ratatouille), painted the exterior of my house, started repainting/decorating a guest/meditation room in our house, spent a long weekend with my beautiful bride and some precious friends in a beach house on the Oregon coast, and booked a reservation for a condo in Fiji for next year.

So, while I haven't been blogging, I haven't exactly been sloughing off either. I am having so much fun! Oh, yeah, and I work too - and it isn't always fun, but I am usually able to have a laugh or two at work - often at my own expense - because I find that laughter truly is the best medicine.

So I'm not going to get all thoughtful and deep in this post. I just wanted to get myself back on track to start writing again...sort of ease myself back into writing shape, if you will.

And I promise I won't take so long before the next post...I promise.

That's a Lotta Wattah

Yep, 20,000 bottles of it - actually just a little less, because we drank a bunch as we unloaded it from the truck. Part of the gig when our Spiritual Dream Interpretation Cafe team arrives at Burning Man is to unload the big ol' rental truck full of water. It was all hands on deck and you could tell that this was going to be a special group of people to work with. No one complained. No one did less than their fair share. No one slipped out of the activity for even fraction of time.

We all worked hard and together, in unity. A great sign of a great time to come. I have the honor of being in fellowship with a bunch of awesome people at the Three Rivers Bridge and close friends at the Desert Rock Bridge. In both places there are many, many like-minded people who easily put away selfishness and work for a common good. But in all my 48 years, I've never met such a unified team of strangers as I did at Burning Man 2007.

This Wednesday, as our creative worship night (which my wife facilitates) was getting started Ratatouille and I shared a bit more about our experience there. I was struck again by this thought. We went there at least partially to bring back a knowing of how much can be done by a few people who are willing to lay down their personal agendas and work in complete unity and submission to their leadership. We took some time to ask Creator to download and impart to each of our brothers and sisters there, the sense of unity we experienced at Burning Man so we could fully participate in the promise of this coming season in our fellowship.

I am profoundly and forever marked by the experience of working alongside such a phenomenal group of people. Even more amazing is that most of us met for the first time just two days before Burning Man opened it 'gates' for the 2007 Burn and already we had begun forming friendships - true, for real friendships.

Encounter after encounter with Burners who were looking for 'something more' and having the honor to listen and participate directly with Fuego (fire in Spanish), Fire Rose, Johnny B Good, Rocket, Spotted Eagle, Rhonda, Altered, Randy and MVP through the week was - amazing. Insight, discernment, revelation, wisdom, kindness, gentleness, mercy and tons of love were poured out on hungry people and they absolutely were changed by it. That doesn't even count the many others on the team with whom I didn't work with on a team, but got to know during meal times and breaks.

If I can bring anything back to my town, my friends, and my fellowship, I hope it is the humility to work together in complete unity to help lost and hurting people of this world find their true destiny. Just think - a bunch of pagans worked in unity to build a tower to reach the heavens. They were succeeding at such a rate that even Creator spoke and said that if they worked together there was NOTHING they could not do. Nothing.

Surely we who share a common faith and love for Him can unite to share His love with a hurting world. Surely it must be His heartbeat that drives the rhythm of our love for each other and the lost. Can we make it our aim to lay down our personal agendas for that goal? I KNOW we can - I've just seen 48 talented, gifted, diverse people do it - and do it with excellence!

What's on Your Menu?

Some of you have let me know, through comments on my wife's blog, that you're anxiously awaiting to hear my take on the trip to Burning Man 2007.

It's getting late (for me) so this will be a brief posting - an appetizer - for more to come.

My heart is so full after a week on the Playa. I have been processing with my wife and friends and I feel as if part of me is still there. It is a surreal feeling. In reality we were only gone 10 days, but it sometimes feels like that 10 days represents the 'real' world and my workaday world here is the one that is temporary. Strange, I know, but I am not sure how else to describe the sensations I am working through.

I wanted to start my posts about our trip with the key to our stay there -the Spiritual Menu from which we served our guests of honor, the Burners. Inspired by the Seven Spirits, we offered a full menu from which our guests could choose. As I talked with folks who served in different groups over the week, it seemed that each group had predominant themes unique to them. My current theory on that is that Creator led the hosts to lead people to groups where the particular gift mix of the team was best suited for that particular menu item. All of the teams I served on, for instance, were dominated by requests for spiritual cleansing (three different leaders and team mates).

More than any other experience I've had, the encounters we had were longer in duration and deeper in impact. Our guests came to the 'table' hungry for a spiritual encounter and were, more often than not, changed dramatically by their encounter with the Spirit of Light.

I'm ruined for anything less. I fell in love with the Burners. I am humbled to accepted and loved by them, and for the opportunity to love on them. For most of the encounters I participated in, our new friends received deeper spiritual touches than many who consider themselves spiritual. They came in open and expectant to have something happen. I loved the comment reported by one of our leaders, that after a particularly deep and healing encounter a guest said, "My eyes have the same light in them as all of you have in yours! How did you do that?"

Well...WE didn't. The Spirit of Light simply answered their invitation to live inside them.

Ready, Set....

It's almost time to go! And, no, I don't have a nice orangey-yellow flame job in my hair. My hair stylist had gotten the idea from a co-worker that Burning Man was mostly middle-aged and older people and thought the flames would be too 'young'. Ya just gotta look at the website to realize this probably is a misconception, but I AM a newbie and her co-worker's dad has been several times, so I didn't argue.

Things are happening and my 'spidey sense' is tingling with anticipation for the next two weeks - probably the most intense two weeks of my life so far. I spent a good part of the evening tonight working on my wife's car that suddenly decided to die in the grocery store parking lot. New battery and all is good...except for that lockdown bolt that fell into the fascia where no human can reach it. Ah well...

I am so amped, it doesn't even matter. I am ready to rock and roll in the desert and touch lives with God's wild, fierce, unconditional love. Yep. That's the good stuff. Whether it's in the semi-arid lands of the Benton-Franklin County Fair or in the Black Rock Desert of Nevada, I am as ready as I can be, and as unprepared for the full reality as is normal for a new experience.

Life truly is a very big adventure!

Dyeing to Self

I waited a while to post this because I didn't want to ruin the fun...for me, that is, of seeing my friends faces when they saw new 'do for the first time. I am so glad I waited. What a hoot!

For those of you who actually read my little corner of the web, thank you. Your reactions have absolutely made the change so worth it! If I'd have known the reaction would be so widespread and vigorous, I think I may have done it years ago.

The reactions do bring me to an unmistakable conclusion. Shaking things up once in a while helps keep life very interesting and fun. After all, hair color, unlike a tattoo, is not permanent. It is merely short-term thing that can be quite easily fixed if it's bad. The reactions have ranged from quiet smiles, rolling eyes and shaking heads (older folks I work with) to very encouraging words like 'Dude, I like it!' (from my younger friends) and everything in between. You'd think I'd changed my face. Many people I know well hardly recognize me at first. All in all, I am having a blast.

Kudos to Melissa from Reflections Salon for having the creative vision to see the 'new me' and bringing it into being. Who knows what's next - maybe a 'flame job' to complete the makeover? "Only my hairdresser knows for sure."

Finis!

Wow! It's finally done! We put the last, finishing touch on my mom & dad's bathroom today. Project complete. Boy, does it feel good to have finished. As promised, here are the pix. Please forgive the quality. We forgot to take the good camera (again), so these were taken with a camera phone.

Virtually everything is new except the toilet, which you probably don't want to see anyway, the mirror, and the vanity cabinet. :) Since the pix will tell the story better than I, I'll let them do the talking.



The Shower, which was the whole point of starting this project.

































And, yes, that really is a lot of tile. Way more work than I had counted on, that's for sure. But I am pleased with the way it turned out, overall. Of course, every time I walk in I see the flaws, but it's functional, clean, new and my parents are thrilled so I am happy with it.

On to my own house where we are freshening the paint in a couple of rooms and on the exterior to get it ready to sell. When? Who knows. If we got a ridiculously high offer on it, I would move tomorrow. :)

Peace!

Finishing Strong

It's been a very long haul, but we are almost finished with the remodel of my parents' bathroom. We've been working on it since late February, using a ton of vacation time, evenings and weekends. The shower has been functional for a couple of weeks now, so we're down to the final finishing touches. Some trim here, repaint there, the details are all that's left.

Through the process, I've been given several opportunities to "call it good" and leave it mostly finished...ugly, but functional. And every time it's come up, I've had to decline the opportunity to bag it, tired as I was, because it didn't yet fit the picture I had in my mind when I started.

Life is like that, isn't it? We work, toil and press on, sometimes through seemingly impossible circumstances and constantly we hear the whispers. "You've earned your rest, just go ahead and stop. Everyone will understand." "No one really cares, you know...just let it go." And when you're tired and worn out, if you don't keep your eyes on the end game, on the finish line, on finishing strong - you can listen and you can rationalize easing up or even quitting.

That's just what Satan wants. He knows that the only real victory he can win over a Christ-filled person is to get them to quit. That's why discouragement and depression are two of his favorite weapons. Paired with fatigue, he has successfully ended the journey to destiny for countless millions of believers.

So wake up to the enemy's scheme. Don't give in and don't give up. As Winston Churchill's famous graduation speech so eloquently puts it, "Never, never, never quit."

Finish strong!

Oldfangled Ideas

As I was thinking of what to write, I was tempted to call this post Newfangled Ideas but I realized that the ideas in question are really just new to me, and maybe to you. Others have had, or known of, these ideas throughout history.

I learned more this weekend about the power of belief than I had thought possible. After all, I'd made a sort of study of that sort of thing many years ago. I learned then that if you truly believed something, you would act in such as way as to make it come to pass. It's called the law of attraction by some. By some it is described in this way, "What you focus on, you make room for*." I had become cynical in my study. I'd read Napoleon Hill's Think and Grow Rich (I don't recommend it unless you're really into deliverance). I'd taken a class based on Stephen Covey's 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, I'd helped facilitate some of the workshops and it seemed to all come down to a common denominator.

Take truths from scripture (usually Proverbs), strip out the references to God, repackage them in secular humanistic language and make MILLIONS of dollars and build a personality cult. It seemed to me to all come down to making money off the poor saps who desperately wanted to have it all and who were willing to spend a large percentage of their incomes to get there, only to find out that the principles don't always work. At least not for the vast majority of us.

Why?

This weekend, I learned a big part of the answer from a Christian perspective and it makes total sense. You see, Jesus did say we could do all things if only we believed and had faith. So the principle is truth established by God and manifested in Jesus. The difference is that He had no unbeliefs swimming around in his sub-concious mind. We do. We have these areas of unbelief, many of which can be formed at early ages and unless we "reprogram" that area of unbelief, we will self-destruct in our attempts to succeed. We have to get rid of judgments against ourselves and others. We have to accept ourselves. We have to fully believe.

We, the Church, have all the reason in the world to believe for miracles of healing, resurrection from the dead, signs and wonders for our FOUNDER manifested all those things and left with the reassurance that we would do even greater things than these. So why aren't we? Why are so many in the Church running on empty?

Let's take up the challenge to look at our unbelief and challenge it with truth. Let's start believing, truly believing for the miracles and let GOD do the deciding, eh? Don't ya know our enemy will just hate that? Don't ya know there is a dying world out there desperate for the supernatural reality of Christ in us? Let's just do it.

* I just received a comment that I had misquoted someone so I've corrected it inline with the rest of the text. Somehow, I merged two statements into a single quote. The actual two thoughts are these, "What you focus on, you make room for. What you fear, you empower." My apologies for the mistake and thank you, Greg for the correction - and for reading my blog!

It's Been a Hard Day's Night...

We took tonight off - from working on the bathroom at my parents' house, from going anywhere. We just needed some down time...and it feels so good to just relax with my sweetie on the couch with a nice glass of wine and TIVO.

In case you're wondering where I've been the last few weeks, I now have some preliminary pictures of the work in progress. Mind you, these were taken with a camera phone and the walls are only half done here (they are 3/4 done in reality and we're going over to finish the install tomorrow - grout will have to wait until later).

As you can see here, we installed an new cultured marble vanity top with a built-in sink and added a tile backsplash. That's the pattern Di figured out and cut! It replaces a 60's era putty-colored laminate countertop and mint green sink.

Better, huh. Oh, yeah the outlet, towel ring, faucet and lighting are all new too.


The next shot is looking at the wall that will have the shower fixtures, when we finish the tile. It, in fact is the only wall that doesn't currently have tile to the ceiling...because of the cut outs for the fixtures.

It really is starting to look like a room again and my parents are extremely grateful and blessed at the results. I don't think they had any idea what we were planning we started, but they trusted us to take care of the details and we're doing our best to keep that trust.

Anyway, that's what has been occupying most of our time recently, and will continue to do so until we are finished. Thanks for your encouragement, and patience with us.

Time Flies...

Wow, I hadn't realized how long it had been since I've posted a blog entry! Time really does seem to fly, even when you're just busy and not necessarily having fun. ;-) And we have been very busy. As my lovely bride mentions in her last post, we have helped with a wedding and reception (where my friend Sam and I grilled over 60 steaks), become all too familiar with our local hospital (visiting my Mom on her trips there), and the BEAST.

No, I'm not referring to the Anti-Christ...just the bathroom remodel at my parents' house. Have you ever volunteered for something because it was the right thing to do and seemed like it be relatively easy? Then you get into the project and you realize how big it really is? After all these years of working on my own house, you would think that I would have a clue, but once again my optimism about how a project will go got the better of my memory and experience. After weeks of demo, prep and more prep, and finding (and waiting weeks for) new fixtures, and learning more about plumbing code than I ever wanted to know, we actually put some tile on the wall yesterday. YES!

Okay, it was just the back splash/accent row around the counter and sink, but it was TILE and it was a beautiful pattern designed by my wife. She's got the art/design/math skills to pull something like that off. While I love the design, and was thinking of something similar, I am particularly bad at the math and measuring. Not Di. She designed, measured and cut the tiles, while I prepped the walls with backer board. She did an awesome job. We installed the back splash last night and everything fit perfectly. It's really beautiful and I am so proud of her.

When it's all done, I'll post pictures. My goal is to finish before next weekend, so I am taking a minimum of two days off this week, probably four. :) Because when you are closing in the finish line, time just flies!

Sometimes It's the Little Things

Well, I must say I am a happier camper tonight. I've watched God work a miracle over the last 24 hours and I'm just plain excited. My mom improved so much over the last 24 hours that her physician had the ventilator removed this early evening. She's back on a small nose tube to supply oxygen. MAJOR answer to prayer.

How dramatic was this? We were told that if everything went as they (hospital staff) hoped, she might be taken off the ventilator Wednesday morning...if she was ready. They were very cautious. Tonight, while Di and I were sitting with her in the early evening, her attending physician came in, checked her readings, charts and her and declared, with some excitement, that he saw no reason to keep the tube in.

How could this happen - from near death experience yesterday to breathing well today? I have only one answer. God answers prayer. So, while most of us take this whole breathing thing for granted, I have to say that for us it was a very big "little thing" that made our whole night!

Okay, I got a little somethin'

What I got right now, is a whole lot of need for prayer for my mama! We almost lost her today. It's a very sobering thought.

My brother drove 3.5 hours to stay with my dad today, just to keep him company. He'd called me yesterday and asked if I thought it was a good idea or was he worrying too much. I thought it would encourage dad so I strongly encouraged him to come.

And it's a good thing he did. While visiting this early afternoon, my mom started having an extremely hard time breathing - gasping for air. My dad kind of froze, not knowing what to do, so my brother took steps - a few of them actually, to the nurse's station, requesting help. The next thing they knew the room was full with a respiratory team and a cardiologist who "just happened" to be on the floor at the time looking in on a patient he'd operated on. They worked quickly to get her 'intubated' (ventilator) and under heavy sedation.

Within an hour or so she started to stabilize a bit, her oxygen levels showing an upward trend. All in all, a very scary few hours.

I Got Nuthin'

It must be something in the air. All of a sudden, I only think is short phrases...after that, "I got nuthin'!" Seriously, it is one of those rare (for me) seasons in my life where I have very little to say. (Right now, someone reading this blog needs CPR...QUICK CALL A WAHHH-MBULANCE!)

I am pretty sure it's because I have been under some relatively heavy mental and emotional strain. Work's been tense as there have been layoffs and I was, until about 3 weeks ago, in a very precarious position. In fact, I accepted an offer that is approximately four steps down on the ladder and has little or no room for growth in order to stabilize my situation. Last week, four people in my division were laid off. I am firmly convinced that taking the 'lesser' job kept me employed. I think of all the lessons in my life and the one that stands out right now is that humility is in my future...so be proactive! By not letting my ego get the best of me I was able to continue to work and, in fact, my new position has the potential to be very fun and exciting.

Through all the adversity, of which work is only one small part, I hang on to the fact that I am in the protective arms of a loving Father. He is not surprised, nor is He on the defensive, trying to make sure I'm alright. Just the opposite, in fact, He is orchestrating events in order to help me reach my destiny in Him. The character I need to fulfill my destiny is shaped in adversity. Strongholds that create obstacles are revealed and broken in adversity.

To borrow from a famous opening line (with my apologies to Charles Dickens), it is the best of times and it is the worst of times. After that, I got nuthin'. At least until next time. Peace and blessings to you and yours. "And God bless us, everyone!"

I'm Just Sayin'

We recently had another conference (man we are blessed with conferences this year) and I am now catching myself using a favorite catch-phrase of our speaker, "I'm just sayin'!" Hah! I smile every time I even think about it. Why? Because he used it (very effectively, I might add) to help soften some pretty bold and strong statements.

I find that I'm using it more often for humor with my wife lately, but I've tucked it very neatly into my toolkit for those situations that may require an ever-so-mild disclaimer. :) Not that I need disclaimers mind you...well, okay...maybe I need them sometimes. Uh, okay several times. Oh, fine! Most of the time. Whatever! I'm just sayin' it's handy to have little things like that tucked away to help defuse tense situations. That's all I'm sayin'.

Wave Upon Wave

I have been hearing the chorus of one of my favorite songs in my head over the last few days. You know how you get a song "stuck" in your head and it just won't seem to leave? Often it's a song you may not like so much, but in this case it's a song I love, so I don't mind. Anyway, in the chorus are the words, "Waves of mercy, Waves of grace".

What great picture as we think of God's infinite capacity to love us with mercy and grace. Every time I sing or hear that song (okay, I'll admit it, I sing it every time I hear it) I think of the ocean. And every time I'm standing on the beach, watching the waves roll in, I think of the song. I am profoundly moved by the power of the ocean and every time I'm near it, I am reminded that God, even more so than the ocean, is dynamic, full of movement, full of life and if we can catch the wave, we can experience the ride of a lifetime.

Or, if we choose, we can learn His ways and train, and practice and dive deep beneath the surface -- seeing new life forms that we would never see otherwise. We can, if we choose to dive deep, see utterly alien-looking forms of life that, in an indirect way, contribute to the whole of our life's experience. Just like deep things of the Spirit, the sea creatures are always there, we simply don't see them unless we choose to go deeper. And we cannot go deeper without equipping ourselves and training to do so.

Let's go deeper and experience the currents of the Spirit and see new life where we've never gone before. Let's train and equip ourselves to enter the "alien" world of the deep ways of God. Let's swim in the currents that create the waves of mercy and grace!

Dive into the depths of God's ways. Then rise to the surface so we can catch the waves of mercy and wave of grace and waves of His unchanging love for us!

Dive, dive, dive! Ride, ride, ride!

Dinner with Friends

Tonight was awesome! We started the outdoor grilling season by having a group of our dear friends over. Good steaks, good wine, wonderful salad and delicious appetizers. What could be better? Seriously, how great is it when you can have a group of people who individually, and as a group, bring such joy and encouragement to your life?

We feel so blessed to have a group of people with whom we can be totally real, totally ourselves and we just love each other. All of us have gone through some very tough seasons individually, and some of those tough seasons affected all of us. And through it all, we became even closer. There's grace here to simply be whatever we are in the moment and know that we'll be loved through it. Accountability? Yeah we got that - through grace and mercy and love for one another. No judgment, no condescension...grace, mercy and love. It's too rare in our too-busy western culture. In fact we were talking last night about it. None of us have ever experienced this kind of group closeness in our entire lives.

Thanks to a kind and loving God who teaches us how to be true friends. Now if only there weren't so many dishes to wash! :)

Life! Life is a very great adventure!

One of the last lines delivered in the 1991 movie, Hook, was by Peter who now thought that living, not dying would be a very great adventure. It's always made me smile. That and the little Lost Boy who said good-bye to Pan with, "That was a great game!" have stuck with me over the years.

I am not sure why, but I think because it embodies the optimism that is so much a part of who I am - or at least who I try to be. I just love the attitude that living is both a great adventure and a great game. We are meant to have fun in this life. We are meant to face challenges that would try to defeat and tear us down. When we refuse to stay down, when we look to our Maker and declare His TRUTH, nothing can truly beat us. We are HIS and He will not allow us to be defeated permanently - unless we turn away from His love.

That's the one danger we believers face. Believing our circumstances can possibly, even remotely, be bigger than God. Believing that God has turned His face from us and isn't looking after our best interests. Oh, that can be a terrible burden.

So how do you keep your wits about you in dreadful circumstances? Do the thing that confounds the senses - praise Him. Worship Him. Adore Him. Give your entire being to giving God the honor due His Holy Name!

Wow - circumstances may not, probably will not, change, but you will. Your heart will sing and maybe, if you listen, you'll hear the echo that comes back to you from heaven as God sings over you (Zech. 3:17). The reverberation of your praises sung back to you by your Father, who loves you with a fierceness that cannot be quenched.

SING! PLAY! DANCE! For life is a very great adventure!

Fun Stuff, This Visual DNA

Thanks for heads-up Tom... Very fun indeed.

Read my VisualDNA™ Get your own VisualDNA™

Agin' Ain't for Wimps

Last weekend I came face to face with a very harsh reality. My parents are old and they're really starting to show it...especially my mom. Don't get me wrong, there is nothing wrong with getting old - I want to do it myself some day (though some of my young friends at church will tell you I'm already there). But they are truly getting old. Mom's 85 and Dad's 89.

This weekend the rose-colored veil of denial was rudely pulled from my face as I came to terms with the fact that my Mom's health is in serious decline. No one killer thing, you understand, but the combination of being 85 and having numerous medical issues that limit her mobility and balance. When we accompanied them to her doctor's appointment Monday, it happened. He said that horrible thing doctors say, "Enjoy your life, do the things you want, and try not to fall." Stark reality. There is nothing medical science can do. Just, "Enjoy your life..." with the inference being clear. Drat! My rosy veil all torn to shreds in one sentence.

What I am coming to terms with is that 85 is good, long time to live and it ain't over 'til its over. God will decide how much longer I have to enjoy my mom's company, but I can guarantee you that we will indeed enjoy life, because we know the Giver of Life. We also know that our parting here is only temporary. We'll see one another again, so we're not saying good-bye at all anyway, just "see ya later." And we don't have to say that just yet either. Thank you God, for the good times and hard times and the inevitability of our mortality. It keeps things in perspective to know that we don't have unlimited time and that we can make the most of the time we do have, because You are Life and Life Abundant!

Things that make you go,"Hmmmm"

I was privileged to attend a conference this weekend that was chock full of things that made me go, "Hmmmm..." I heard new things about the history of the Hebrew language that fascintated and provoked an intense interest to study more about the ancient pictographic language used before the modern Hebrew alphabet was created. I learned new and interesting things about pursuing intimacy with God and how He can use our loneliness as a catalyst to greater intimacy with Him.

I watched a very gifted man deliver four intense, deep, thought- and spirit-provoking talks with no notes, prompted to by his own depth of study and, more importantly, his own intimate relationship with his Heavenly Father. For hours, I sat mesmerized not by slick delivery or smooth presentation skills, but by a "knowing," deep in my spirit, that this man had paid a great price for this knowledge and intimacy, but he'd paid the dues and could now speak with great authority on the subject. The words he spoke carried an almost tangible weight because of the authority he had to speak. This man knew things from his experience with God that went far beyond the obvious scholarly work he had done. Oh, he'd studied in an academic fashion to be sure, but his depth was not because of knowledge, it was due to his deep understanding.

In my experience with life thus far, I have come to believe that understanding does not come from mere information. I can read and study and know things, but to understand them I have to experience them in some way. For instance, I know a thing or two about computers, as do many of you, but I really know certain programs, like Word and PowerPoint, because I have a depth of experience with them. That understanding allows me to think through odd quirks we run across at work, not from a memory of a certain thing, but an understanding of how many things relate to one another and thus form a more complete picture.

It was the same with Jim Driscoll this weekend. His study was enhanced and knowledge had become understanding because he's done more than just read his bible and study the original language. He's experienced God in very tangible ways that have lent him an understanding of God's ways.

My direction for this year has been "prepare" for greater understanding. This weekend of teaching has given me an even greater hunger to do just that, and now I have a greater sense of how to pursue and get that understanding. Thank you, God, for Jim's example and clarity. Thank you for an inspiration that has led to a direction, that will lead to understanding.

Hero Syndrome :)

My friend, Tom, posted this cool link on his site so I had to go take the test. Turns out I am most like my favorite superhero, SpiderMan. That worked out nicely. :)

So who would you be? Go check it out on the link provided below.

Spider-Man 90% Green Lantern 80% Superman 70% Wonder Woman 60% Supergirl 60% The Flash 60% Robin 50% Iron Man 50% Catwoman 35% Hulk 35% Batman 20%

You are intelligent, witty, a bit geeky and have great power and responsibility.

Click here to take the Superhero Personality Quiz

A Life Lived Well...

We attended the funeral of today of someone we've only known for a short time, and primarily through a mutual friend. We didn't know her well, and I am not a fan of funerals...so what compelled us to go?

The love of our mutual friend for this person. You see, we love our mutual friend and whom she loves, we love. Her heart is so big and so generous and so kind, it is impossible to think too ill of someone with whom she is so enamored. No, this wasn't a romantic love. This was love for a woman who lived well.

In her funeral service today, there was an "open mic" sharing time and the theme I heard over and over was that this was a woman who lived life to the fullest. She was a kindergarten teacher, long retired, and the children who had been her students, now grown with children of their own, remembered her as their favorite teacher. Longtime friends, and there were many, remembered that she was as strong and determined as the tide and yet gentle and soft-spoken with a word of encouragement for everyone she met.

We met her as the mother of our friend's "male friend," although I don't think they were officially dating for a couple of years. "Mama" attended some of our house parties. Our friends gather as often as we can to eat too much good food, drink wine we hope is good, and then settle down to play and sing worship songs. Mama had come from a more traditional, hymn-singing church tradition, but the joy on her face and the LIGHT in her eyes were all she needed to communicate that though she may not have known the lyrics, she knew the heart from which they came. She was a worshipper. And she became Mama to all of us in some way.

Today, in a small farming community, so many gathered to pay their respects and honor Mama that they had to set up a video feed and sound in an adjacent building to hold the overflow crowd. She'd touched so many. Hers was truly a life lived well.

We'll miss you Mama. Thank you for your smiles, your laughter, your joy and zest for life. Thank you for loving our friend and loving us with such complete acceptance. May we all learn from this remarkable woman that a kind deed, an encouraging word, and deep love for others are the legacy we should strive to leave behind. May we all live life so well.

Back to Reality...For Real

Yeah...another "coastie" picture - just another beautiful sunset from our balcony at Seaside. This is from the camera in my phone because it's what I had handy - but it's pretty good, I think. I am hooked on sunsets at the beach, but here I am, back in our little home office with freezing temperatures outside and most of a week back at work under my belt.

Could somebody pass the beach reality back this way, please?!?

I have to tell you that without a doubt, I was wired for fun and frolic. I go to work every day and I do my very best because I feel responsible to the folks who make it possible for me to live in a snug little house and eat decent food and enjoy a fair share of gadgets, toys and conveniences. But I cannot say that I am enjoying work at the moment. Parts of it are great - I love teaching classes and working with people to solve their perplexing computer issues. (Yeah, in case you didn't know it, I'm kind of a geeky person. Not a super nerd, but geeky. I love electronic gadgets, but frankly I don't care about the circuits and wiring. I love great design in a gadget, design that makes things easy to use....but I digress) But for the most part, there is a tremendous amount of stress in my work life and I cannot see what the stress is really accomplishing, except to give me headaches and tempting me to buy lottery tickets.

I was thinking about this "wiring issue" again this week back at work. I've long joked that I want to be full time "Minister of Fun." I just know that in this performance-driven, Type-A world in which we live there is a place for learning to how to relax and just enjoy the moment. When we went to Maui, they told us not to be in a rush, but to relax and enjoy "Island Time". I adapted immediately.

I prefer not wearing a watch, for instance. I love just soaking in the experience of whatever I am doing at the moment - watching the waves dance on the beach, talking with friends, sipping a good Syrah (or Cab or Cab-Merlot, or Sangiovese, or Viognier...you get the idea), grilling up a great steak, and most of all, spending time with my bride of 20 years.

I guess what I'm saying is...if there is such a thing as a ministry to people who need to learn to just relax and enjoy life in the moment...SIGN ME UP! That's what I want to do. I have deep desire to see people released from bondage of time and performance. Organization and efficiency and diligence are great - in balance...I am just saying that if you DON'T know how to relax and have fun...we need to spend some time together. Island time. Trust me.

Back to Reality...Almost

Earlier this evening we returned from our annual anniversary vacation. This year we trekked over the mountains and through the woods to Seaside, Oregon. As the name implies it is a beach town. Of the Oregon beach towns with which I am familiar, it is perhaps the campiest - with fun family activities like bumper cars, bumper boats, go-karts and...you guessed it, helicopter rides. Yep, my wife of 20 years and I took our very first helicopter ride on this trip and WOW - was it FUN! Our pilot, Gary, took us on a "low and slow" aerial tour of Seaside over to the neighboring town of Cannon Beach. It was smooth and the visibility was unreal. We could see Mt. Rainier in the distance.

We felt so blessed in so many different ways on this trip. First, on our drive down, we were able to meet with some dear friends who were on their lunch break for a Streams 101 class they were teaching in Portland - what a treat. Hope the class went well y'all! I am sure it did as three of our best were doing their thing there.

Since our check-in time wasn't until 4:00 pm, we took detour (okay, a rather long detour) to Lincoln City and the Tanger Outlet Mall. Now, I have to admit, I am not so into the shopping thing. I am a hunter-gatherer. I like to know exactly what I am looking for, go in to the store, grab it, buy it, bag it and go home. My wife...not so much. So we spent some time (and money) cruising through some shops there. Fortunately, Di was anxious to get to the beach so we only cruised three stores before heading north to our destination.

But a funny thing happened on the way to Seaside. I realized, several miles out of Lincoln City that we were very low on gas and that I'd forgotten all about filling up in my haste to head north. A few miles...okay several miles south of Pacific City (and about 80+ miles away from Seaside), the warning light for our fuel tank came on. Hmmm. Di started studying the map in earnest, calculating how many miles we had in the tank versus how many miles it was to the nearest gas station, which would be Pacific City. I said nothing about it, but I was getting pretty concerned that I was going to be getting some unwanted exercise that night. Fortunately, God was smiling upon us and we pulled up to the gas station with 1/2 gallon of gas left in the tank. Thank you God!

The favor was just beginning. We decided to have dinner (supper for you Southerners) in a microbrewery/pub called the Pelican. We'd eaten there just last October when we'd come to Pacific City with our friends Sam & Diana so we knew this beach side pub offered good eats and really smooth Scottish Ale. So we went in to this normally packed establishment and were promptly seated on the beach side (which is all windows) and were treated to a gorgeous sunset while we nibbled on appetizers and awaited our meal.

Onward, with full tummies and very happy taste buds, we checked into our room around 9:00'ish. Oh, did I mention our room? No? Well, I must fix that now. We are owners of WorldMark, The Club. This is a vacation property club - not timeshare, but similar in some ways in that most of the properties are condominiums. Very nice condominiums. If you're curious, check out http://www.trendwest.com. If you get interested, let us refer you. You'll be glad you did and so will we. :) So, back to the room. We had reserved a space a year ago because we could and because we wanted something very specific...ocean side. Oh, yeah. Our living room and our bedroom had full ocean views. Actually, the other bedroom did too, but we didn't spend any time in there. SWEET!



That's the view at sunset last night. Di was standing at one end of our balcony, I was about in the middle. To my left, on the balcony is a gas grill on which were a couple of fine tenderloin steaks. It was a cool room with an absolutely stunning view. We were on the fourth floor.

Oh...did you happen to notice that I'm outside in a sweatshirt, no coat, in January? Oh yeah, the daytime highs were in the upper 50's to mid-60's and sunny. SUNNY! On the Oregon coast! In January for goodness sakes! WOO HOO! Favor...blessing...and we thanked God for it every hour of every day.

So, we're back home now, and I have one more day of vacation before I head back to work. We're almost back to reality. But I'm holding onto the sweet sound of ocean waves and the smell of fresh sea air as long as I can until we can get back for another fix.

20 Years Ago Today

It's mind-blowing to realize that on this date 20 years ago during a snowy, cold, Friday night my beautiful bride and I exchanged vows and rings, committing ourselves to a lifelong love in marriage. Little did we realize the adventure that lay before us. We just knew that everything would be wonderful along the way.
The funny thing is...for the most part we were right! It has been wonderful all along the way. Believe me when I tell you that our journey has had its share of sorrows, heartbreak and trial. We've had to face hard truths about each other, ourselves and our families that hurt so deeply that at times we thought we would burst.
Through it all, we can look back and say that God truly does cause all things to work together for good for those who love Him and are called according to His purpose. He is truly the giver of good gifts, and the most wonderful gift I've been given next to His Grace and salvation is my wife. She well and truly completes me.
There is no doubt that I am a better man for having loved her and known her these 20 + years. She has led me, by example, to new levels of peace and rest in God. Through her loving support I am able to face trials and challenges with more grace. Her love has allowed me to believe that maybe, just maybe, I have something more to offer the world than a quick joke or a chuckle. Maybe, just maybe, God has planted in me the greatness she says she sees in me.
I have such a hard time seeing it for myself, but I love her and trust her and know that God has put her into my life to help me see what I could not see for myself. So I choose to believe, in faith, that she's seeing me with God's eyes and it helps me get through another day when others would tell me that I am not measuring up, that I am a failure, that I can't cut it. The one person on this earth who know me best, my worst and my best, believes in God's destiny for me. She helps me believe I can fly.
Thank you my beloved for seeing through the "funny man" disguise to the sea of love and compassion that swirls within me. Thank you for seeing the me you can love, honor and cherish in the best and worst of times, in sickness and in health, until death parts us...temporarily.
Happy anniversary, my beloved.

Happy New Year, Indeed!

Reading my wife's posting from this morning has inspired me to post my own feelings on this new year. 2006 ended on a tough note, professionally, and 2007 hasn't been much better. I'm old enough to know that "this too shall pass" but it still hits hard sometimes.

Over the last 2 years I've been in a position that has offered challenge after challenge as I've begun learning what being a manager is - at least what is in my organization. I've struggled to learn a rather labyrinthine financial system, among other challenges and the struggle has come at great personal cost.

Finally, in the last couple of weeks, I've had to lay down my desires and just surrender to God's sovereignty as I have come to realize that the situation is not going to improve any time soon. It's just strange and paradoxical to me that when you reach the end of yourself and finally surrender - not just make a truce - but really surrender, that God's peace can just wrap you up and lull you into a sense of protected rest that literally no one can disturb.

WHY do I wait so long to surrender? ARGH! It's not that circumstances are that much better, it's just that I have a total sense of peace because I know that God's got everything under control. I don't understand what He's doing yet, mind you. I just sense His presence around me and it gives me an uncanny ability to sit back and rest in His promise to provide. He IS Jehovah Jireh, after all.

So I am looking at the end of the first full week of the new year with a sense of calm assurance that my God will provide. I have no idea what that provision will look like, but I know He is good and I know that all good gifts come from Him. So whatever happens this year, I know beyond doubt that my God will never leave me, nor forsake me. He has already made my paths straight, all I have to do is keep my eyes on Him and take the steps He directs me to take. No more, no less.

Happy new year!